I

Even tho^* Neng Congnai¹ had that pleasant conversation with Sumati on the telephone and even tho they agreed to meet for an interview, Neng is still in doubt whether 'e^* really should employ someone for the job. However hopeful 'e is that the restaurant 'e bought will be a success eventually, every time again that one fact thrusts itself on the owner's mind: no-one has come in yet since the new restaurant opened almost three months ago.

It would have been infinitely easier if Neng Congnai, a Dutch citizen of Chinese descent, had started a Chinese restaurant in the Netherlands, for such restaurants, which serve Indonesian food as well, are very popular among the Dutch natives. Neng understands this only too well. Yet, Neng's restaurant is in the center of Amsterdam close to a busy street, so its location is near-perfect. And copies of the menu are clearly displayed on both the window and the door, the letters in big, colorful fonts. And people have been looking at them. Nevertheless, not one person has ever decided to enter until now.

Well, this is not the whole truth, for on the day of the opening Neng's parents and a sibling came for dinner, and they were very polite and they seemed to be pleased when they left. But even they, Congnai's own relatives, never returned or inquired how things were going, except that Congnai's parents ask 'im^* every once in a while if it would not be better to add some of the well-known wholesome and delicious Chinese meals to the menu. And then, one time there were no fewer than four people who came in around three o'clock in the afternoon, not for dinner but for 'a light snack' -- as they called it. They were foreign students on a tour and said that they certainly would have come back for dinner sometime, if they had lived in Holland. However, they lived somewhere in North America and never came back.

In spite of all this, Neng Congnai has decided to grant Sumati a job interview for two reasons. Firstly, 'e has noticed that some people have been looking at the menu on the window a little bit longer than before. It even seems as if they are sometimes seriously discussing the menu. So 'e entertains the expectation that the restaurant will soon have its first visitor for dinner. At the same time, however, Neng cannot afford it much longer to stay at the restaurant 'imself every afternoon and evening. For even Neng Congnai needs to pay for the maintenance of the building and even Neng Congnai needs money for all the petty and less petty expenses of daily life. So if there is someone who could take care of the restaurant, a neat and intelligent person, this would be a great relief for 'im; provided, of course, that that person can be trusted.

Everyone will agree that quite a few things were already in Sumati's favor when Neng Congnai talked to 'im on the phone. First of all, Sumati had a pleasant voice and spoke quietly and clearly. 'E used a rich idiom and correct grammar. And 'e is a Dutch citizen, not like Neng of Chinese but of Hindustani descent. Sumati's family hails from Surinam and, further back in time, from Indonesia and India. More importantly, however, 'e studied in England for two years and therefore also Sumati's English is far superior to that of those who speak it in the average bar or in an ordinary restaurant. In a city like Amsterdam, with tourists from all over the world visiting and nowadays also with people of so many different ethnic backgrounds living there, this is not a superfluous requirement.

Neng Congnai was also pleased to notice that Sumati addressed 'im with Dear Person. For 'e knows, and 'e is certain Sumati knows too, that traditional Sirs and Madams frown on this usage and protest that it will lead to a sexless or, even worse, a loveless world. As if the Person-users do not have equally male and equally female bodies, and additional masculine and feminine names and pronouns to be used especially in a context in which sex or gender is relevant. But if and when it is not, they use gender-transcending pronouns, like the high-pitched Chinese ta for the third person regardless of sex. Neng pities those who desperately want to be regarded not as people but as men and women in every and any situation, day and night. 'E would like to tell them of the Dao, the Way, in Lao Zi.

Reversing is the movement of the Chinese Dao. Everything involves its own negation. The general rule for the person practising enlightenment is to begin with the opposite of what 'e wants to achieve. Be the owner of little and you shall obtain. Be hollow and you shall be filled. And the Old Master should not mind a new example: Be nonsexual and you shall enjoy the erotic. For being nonsexual, that is, refraining from this kind of irrelevantism, is what Person Neng aims at in 'er^* civilized restaurant.

When Sumati comes for the interview the good impression Neng Congnai has formed of 'im at the telephone is only enhanced. Sumati is impeccably dressed, not at all fashionably, perhaps, even not elegantly, but definitely in a simple and tasteful manner. It is exactly the way Neng wants 'er future servant to be dressed. In addition --and 'e could never have demanded it-- Neng finds the young person opposite 'im fairly attractive: 'e possesses a natural beauty which will definitely appeal to everybody, to every man and to every woman, with a sense for the esthetics of the human face and body. 'Er certificates, too, are good, but there is still one thing to be found out. Does Sumati realize what 'e is getting 'imself into and can Sumati handle the situation? Neng is honest and tells Sumati everything about it. Not only will 'er wages of necessity be low; 'e will even not be able to start on 'er new job right away. Neng 'imself will stay in the restaurant for a few more weeks before Sumati will be asked to take over.

"Sumati", Neng Congnai says, "i^* very much appreciate it that you'd like to work in my restaurant. You speak several languages, you have studied at some very good schools, your appearance and attitude please me, but i'm still in doubt whether i should take you on as my servant. Do you realize, since i can't afford a cook yet, you'll also have to prepare the dishes in the kitchen yourself?"

"I do, Dear Person" Sumati answers, "But why are you in doubt? I'm prepared to give myself, just as anyone should be prepared to give under these circumstances."

"Yes, yes, i know. The merchant gives merchandise, the farmer rice or potatoes and the teacher teachings. But what can you give now, that will be of special use under the present difficult circumstances?"

And this Sumati answers: "I can think, i can wait, i can fast."

And Neng Congnai does not ask any further questions, for Neng, too, is familiar with Hesse's novel in which these famous words are spoken by Siddhartha of India. At once, Neng is 300% sure that here in front of 'im there is the right person for the right job at the right time. All Neng's previous doubts evaporate. 'E gets a form out of the top drawer of 'er desk and begins to fill in the contract.

Sumati is hired on the spot.

II

After three weeks Neng Congnai informs Sumati that 'e can start.

The first day no-one comes in.

III

The second day no-one comes in.

IV

The third day no-one comes in.

V

But around 7.50 p.m. on the fourth day a couple suddenly rushes into the restaurant. A heavy rain has just started and their thin coats drip water into a puddle on the floor.

Sumati turns out to be an excellent servant. 'E is exraordinarily helpful and polite, takes the coats of the couple, and asks them where they would like to sit: at the window or rather closer to the kitchen. As the weather is so bad outside the two guests do not care about the window and sit down at a table in the middle. They speak Dutch and call each other "Piet" and "Pietje".²

Before even having had a look at the menu Piet asks: "Can i have a beer, please."

"I'm sorry, My Dear, we don't serve beer in this restaurant."

"Well, what other drinks do you have, then, if i may ask?"

"We only serve water, neither alkaline nor acid, My Dear."

"Would you mind stopping your My Dear? In this country a gentleman is called 'Mijnheer'!"³

"We're a civilized restaurant, Dear Person, and i'm afraid we don't use male or female titles in the present context." Piet looks puzzled and the answer does not seem to fully satisfy 'im, but 'e leaves it at that.

After Piet and Pietje have accepted water for their drinks, it is time to have a look at the menu. In their rush to get inside, they never had a chance to look at it outside on the window or the door. Pretty soon they discover that the only things on the restaurant's menu are 'Wisdoms', albeit of a number of different sorts. The guests may order a 'Chinese', an 'Indian', an 'African' or an 'English Wisdom'.

"Wisdoms?" Pietje exclaims. They immediately call Sumati, who has gone to the kitchen, and ask for an explanation. Sumati explains that that is correct and that it is also shown on the menu on the window and on the door. They must have noticed that the name of the restaurant is Food for Reflection, and that is exactly what they serve: food for thought.

"Do you realize that there is alliteration in this name?" Sumati asks quietly and in a very friendly way. As 'er guests seem to consider it a rhetorical question --which it was not-- Sumati explains: "The stress in reflection is on the second syllable and that syllable starts with the same sound as food. And the same sound as for but for is not stressed."

The couple, tho, never read the name of the restaurant and they are not interested in the alliteration, and they never read the menu before entering the place and they are not interested in strange food. They are very upset now and prepare for leaving. To add to the misfortune the weather outside is getting worse and worse.

Piet starts losing his temper. "Godverdomme,"⁴ he grumbles at Pietje, who is probably his wife. "Why did we have to come in here? Couldn't you have looked at the menu first?"

Pietje, who certainly cannot be blamed for not having a ready tongue, answers: "Why didn't you look at the menu first? Mijnheer!"

"A Chinese Wisdom, an Indian Wisdom, ... . I was really hungry, but I'm not hungry enough to eat this shit. Let's get out of here, before I'm going to get mad at someone."

"Piet, if we leave now we'll get soaking wet. We're too lightly dressed for this cold and wet weather. I'd rather have a Wisdom than a pneumonia. You know what? We'll ask them if they also serve Dutch Wisdoms. This is Holland. Why only that foreign stuff? Can't we have Dutch food in this our own country?"

It is now more than an hour and a half ago that they began to look for a restaurant with an empty table for two, and Piet cannot but agree that his wife's suggestion makes some sense. So they turn to Sumati and ask 'im very decidedly for a Dutch Wisdom. Sumati answers equally decidedly that they do not serve a Dutch Wisdom. 'E adds even more decidedly that 'e doubts whether such a thing exists.

However, to no avail, for the couple pretends not to hear and insists on being served a Dutch Wisdom.

Sumati changes 'er tack and says that it will take weeks, if not months, to prepare a Dutch Wisdom.

But the crazy couple insists.

Sumati realizes that if 'e does not yield now, the guests will opt for the pneumonia and leave. Yet, 'e will not yield all the way: they can have a Dutch Wisdom for dessert, provided that they are willing to wait longer than usual. A big smile shows on each of the two faces. The smiles are immediately followed by question marks, because before deciding the couple first wants to know how much the whole meal is going to cost them.

They do not mind an English Wisdom for starters. That will be 8.

"Would you like an Indian Wisdom for your main course?" Sumati asks.

"H'm", says Piet first. But Pietje objects right away, because she does not trust the Indian, which probably entails a lot of curry. As they are used to Chinese-Indonesian food, both of them choose a Chinese Wisdom for the main course. That will be 22.

The Dutch Wisdom will be 5. Together 35. While the couple listen to Sumati saying the numbers aloud they are not amused, for 35 euros per person amounts to 70 euros together only to escape that bloody rain.

"Thirty-five minutes of attention", Sumati concludes.

"No", says Piet, "we mean How much will it be in euros?"

"Dear Person", says Sumati inadvertently a little bit condescendingly, "this is not some ordinary commercial establishment. You pay in minutes of attention. If it's too much, i can reduce the Dutch Wisdom to half a minute, if you want."

"O no, don't do that. We're even prepared to spend 22 on the Dutch and 5 on the Chinese Wisdom. Thank you."

Sumati goes to the kitchen in order to prepare the dishes. The English and Chinese Wisdoms will be ready in no time. As for the Dutch Wisdom, however, Sumati finds 'imself in an embarrassing predicament. 'E almost never worries, but does not Sumati show signs of concern on 'er face now! Where is Sumati going to get the Dutch Wisdom from? There are books enough in the kitchen but not one about Dutch Wisdoms in general. 'E will have to resort to a book about, or written by, a thinker from the Netherlands.

Spinoza is the first one who comes to mind, but the couple will not know who 'e is. Some Spanish or Portuguese general, perhaps? And if they are smart and knowledgeable, they will probably say that Spinoza was a Jew and not really Dutch. And if they are even smarter and more knowledgeable, they might have heard that Spinoza was thrown out of the city by Amsterdammers who, aleph, refused to live together with such a heretic and who, beth, failed to draw the conclusion that in that case they themselves would have to leave the place. Sumati's guests might subsequently rightly reason that Amsterdam should in due respect now keep silent about Spinoza.

Erasmus? What about Erasmus of Rotterdam? Will they know 'im? Yes, they must have heard of the Erasmus University in that city. Alas, they will probably assume that the fellow was some fool calling 'imself after that most respectable educational institution. Nevertheless, Sumati checks whether there is any book about this Dutch philosopher in the kitchen. And, yes, there is one. But 'e has hardly any time left now. 'E must first serve the English Wisdom for starters. After that 'e will still have some time to look things up, before 'e is going to serve their Chinese Wisdom.

However, when Sumati returns to the kitchen between the first and the main course, 'e cannot find anything in Erasmus suitable to be served as a Wisdom in a civilized restaurant. Now Sumati begins to despair, for if 'e does not manage to get that dessert ready in time, the couple will leave without paying any further attention. They have been the first and only real visitors so far, and the restaurant will almost certainly have to close down then. And Sumati will lose 'er job then; the job for which 'e has been patiently waiting such a long time.

After the starters the Dutch couple are complaining about the English Wisdom, albeit within bounds. They were not too obnoxious. Now, afer the main course, they even seem --you would not believe it-- quite content with the meal (and with each other). Will Sumati's efforts all be in vain nonetheless, because 'e cannot come up with an acceptable Dutch Wisdom in time? It must be feared, altho 'e still has some time left after the main course. The couple seem satisfied and it will be better anyhow not to disturb them for a few moments.

Yet, the Hour of Judgment cannot be delayed any longer, and Sumati returns to the couple with a hastily but still carefully prepared dessert. With the words My Dear Persons, may i offer you your desserts. 'e gives each of them a paper plate with the following piece of wisdom on it in a calligrapher's handwriting:

I   WAIT,   THEREFORE   I   AM

The couple is flabbergasted. Many seconds, very heavy and painful seconds, go by without them saying anything. Their eyes and mouths are wide open. Piet is getting up and Pietje is getting ready to follow suit.

Pietje tries to remain polite: "Is that all? Are we supposed to pay five minutes of attention to that?"

"And what's Dutch about that crap?" says Piet. "You promised to serve us a Dutch dessert, didn't you?"

Sumati keeps calm. 'E quietly explains that it is, perhaps, no crap; that philosophers have spent five years on it individually; and fifty years now until five hundred years in the future collectively. True, the original statement was I think, therefore i am, but ...

"I drink, therefore I am?" Piet asks 'im.

"No", Sumati corrects 'im, "i think, therefore i am."

Sumati continues to explain that every cook has the right, and ought to have the creativity, to change a dish a little bit to 'er liking. The original statement was made, of course, by Descartes and Sumati makes clear to the couple what role it played in Descartes' thinking. The couple sits down again.

"But Descartes", says Piet, "that doesn't sound like a Dutch name, does it?"

Without showing it Sumati is glad they are on speaking terms again, and Piet's question is entirely reasonable.

This Sumati replies: "No, you're right. 'E was French, but 'e lived longer in this country than the millions of children you probably consider one hundred percent Dutch: some twenty-one years or so. And not only that, 'e came here, thought here, wrote here and waited here, because in this country, unlike France, 'e had the freedom to do so."

What Sumati does not tell them is that Descartes' rationalist philosophy was condemned and banned in the Netherlands at the Universities of Utrecht and Leiden two decades before the Catholic Church placed the philosopher's works on the Index of Prohibited Books. Such a weighty piece of information might not really whet the two natives' appetite.

"Where did he live, then, in Holland?" Pietje asks.

"Oh, in no fewer than thirteen different places. Also here in Amsterdam", Sumati answers, "on the North side of the Westermarkt."

"The Westermarkt?" Piet and Pietje exclaim together. "That's where we live on the South side. We never knew that such a famous European philosopher used to live there too."

"Now you know", says Sumati, "but the wisdom is not in the man, not in his being Dutch or European, not even in the person. It is in the thinking and in the waiting and in the fasting."

The couple seems pleased again. They have been paying attention to the dessert for over 15 minutes now, and it is about time to go home, if only because it has stopped raining. Piet asks for the bill, but Sumati says that they have already paid much more than the 35 minutes each, and 'e thanks them for their attention. Sumati fetches their coats and helps them to put them on. The couple smile and say that they had never expected such an extraordinary meal and that they will recommend Food for Reflection to others as a restaurant with specialties nowhere else to be had. And that these words were not spoken out of sheer politeness is proved by the fact that Sumati finds a generous gift in euros on the table 'e has been waiting at. 'E puts the tip in the restaurant's empty cash box.

VI

The next day a single person visits the restaurant, in spite of the fact that the weather is not bad at all, and in spite of the fact that Sumati has seen 'im study the menu on the window first. The guest chooses the table at the window and Sumati recommends the English Wisdom for starters and the Indian Wisdom for the main course. The guest accepts the recommendation and does not seem to find it odd that only water, neither acid nor alkaline, is being served as a drink. What Sumati does find odd, however, is that the guest does not want the African Wisdom, when that is recommended to 'im for dessert.

The guest insists on a Dutch Wisdom. Sumati tells 'im that there is no such a thing on the menu and points it out to 'im. But the guest says that 'e has heard from others that it is being served here and 'e wants that and nothing else. Sumati puts as much emphasis on all the qualities of the African Wisdom as 'e can, but to no avail. In the end the guest gets 'er Dutch Wisdom and leaves with a smile of satisfaction on 'er face. For the second time Sumati finds a generous gift in euros on the table. 'E does not keep it for 'imself but puts it in the restaurant's cash box again.

VII

Two days later the restaurant is flooded with guests, most of them Dutch natives. Sumati is surprised and does not understand the sudden popularity, until 'e gets to see the local newspaper that night. It contains an article written by a journalist who has visited Food for Reflection. "So", Sumati says to 'imself, "that one person who came on the day after the first couple was a journalist. Probably sent to me by that couple." The article is not very laudatory with regard to the drinks. The writer complains that the restaurant does not only not serve beer, but even no tea or coffee. However, the food is good, Sumati reads, and the dessert, a Dutch Wisdom, excellent; all of it extraordinary. And on top of this you do not have to pay in euros. On the whole a very positive article which explains the sudden influx of so many visitors. It also explains why quite a few visitors do not leave a tip in euros but in guilders (old money which is worthless in itself but which can still be changed at the Central Bank for new).

VIII

As the cash box becomes heavier with euros and guilders, Sumati thinks it wise to see 'er boss and tell 'im everything about the new developments. For imagine that Person Neng would come in unexpectedly and find out that there are so many notes and coins in the cash box. Then 'e will definitely conclude that Sumati asks money for the meals instead of attention. This would be an utter disgrace for an establishment such as Food for Reflection. It would mean that people could order a Chinese Wisdom, for instance, finish it, and leave without having paid any due attention to it. But, however horrible this might be, it is not Sumati's concern, as 'e does not ask for money. People do pay attention and in addition they leave the money, which can be used to settle the water and electricity bills, and to buy a good new book for in the kitchen now and then. Taxes, too, have to be taken care of, even for those months that no-one came to dine in the restaurant.

So Sumati goes to Neng Congnai one morning and tells 'im about the sudden rise in the number of visitors and that all these visitors pay their attention to the food and that they often leave generous tips as well and that 'e puts all these tips in the restaurant's cash box. 'Er boss is pleasantly surprised and 'e praises Sumati for being a hard-working, reliable employee and 'e says that 'e has known from the very beginning that Sumati was the right person for such a difficult and lonely job. Then 'e asks Sumati what could be the explanation for the sudden increase in the number of guests. Sumati asks 'im whether 'e has not seen the article in the local newspaper and Neng says that 'e has not. Sumati proudly hands 'im the paper with the article about their restaurant.

When Neng Congnai starts to read the article 'er face grows redder and redder. Sumati clearly notices it too, and 'er enthusiasm soon disappears. As a matter of fact, Sumati looks rather worried now.

"A Dutch Wisdom?" Neng Congnai exclaims. "Since when have we had a Dutch Wisdom on the menu?"

"I, i ..." Sumati tries to answer.

"You mean you altered the menu of the restaurant without asking my permission, without even consulting me about it?"

"But, but ... After all those months the restaurant was open a Dutch couple came in who were only prepared to stay if i served them something Dutch."

"You mean you would've served them a frikandel⁵ if they'd asked for one?"

"No, not at all, i made a special Wisdom for them and only for dessert. I didn't want to, i even refused, but they insisted." Sumati sounds very timid now.

"May i be so bold as to ask my humble servant what this so-called 'Dutch W.i.s.d.o.m' consists of? Erasmus or Spinoza, i presume?"

"It is ... I wait, therefore i am", says Sumati even more timidly, because 'e fears that 'er boss will not fully appreciate what 'e has been serving to the guests.

Neng Congnai explodes. "I wait, therefore i am? I wait? It's I think, therefore i am! And that's a piece of universal wisdom by Descartes, a French philosopher! Your polder profundity is a disgrace. You've brought shame on my restaurant." While searching in the top drawer of 'er desk 'e adds: "Ineradicable shame!"

Sumati is fired on the spot.

60.NMY.18-EQU.24